Where there is honour, there is no shame, striving, nor mockery; rather, there is one heart, which seeks to abide with love in God’s Covenant Plan for your marital union. You are NOT trying to use your parents’ playbook, you are NOT trying to exalt and honour your family’s tradition. Rather, you are seeking to honour your marriage in alignment with God’s Covenant Plan for both of you. You are seeking to come together, NAKED in The Presence of God, to discover what works for you both in your new Covenant union and in God’s plan for your lives.

The Dangers of Strife

THE EROSION OF TRUST

Strife is the enemy of unity, peace, cleaving and intimacy. When you said “I Do” at the Altar, you didn’t automatically gain a PhD in your spouse’s knowledge. You only legalised your access to begin knowing that person on a deeper level. When you first consummated that marriage, you didn’t suddenly have the full knowledge of that person; you only took a step deeper in getting to know your spouse better.

Understanding that marriage is a journey of continuous unveiling will bring you to a place of calmness where you’ll seek peace, rather than rancour. God ordained that we should grow into one another in love, just as He ordained it regarding Christ and in the church in Ephesians 4:15 (KJV)

“But speaking the truth in love, may grow up into him in all things, which is the head, even Christ: Where there is strife, there is confusion and every evil work

This means growth is stunted and nurturing is hindered where strife dwells (James 3:16). Strife in a marriage can manifest in various forms—arguments, resentment, and unresolved conflicts.

James 4:1-2 asks,

“What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? Is it not this, that your passions are at war within you? “

When you allow strife to take root, it erodes the foundational trust in your relationship, which is pivotal to your Covenant. Strife is the word ‘eritheia’ in Greek, and it means ‘faction’! A faction speaks of a divided sect, which breaks away from a major group. This is a division within a whole, and this destroys the essence of life, unity and progress in your marriage.

Why would you want to be divided against your spouse? Why would you want to join external and internal forces (of the flesh) against your spouse?

Answering this question reveals the root cause of the bickering in your home. Yet trust is built on honesty and transparency; when strife prevails, it creates an environment where suspicion and doubt can flourish. It divides you against yourself, and a kingdom divided against itself can NEVER stand! Mark 3:24. Hence, if not dealt with, strife can destroy the foundation of your marital Covenant.

THE IMPACT ON INTIMACY

Strife not only affects your emotional and spiritual connection but also your physical intimacy. 1 Corinthians 7:3-5 encourages couples to fulfil their marital duties to one another, emphasising that intimacy is a vital part of the marriage covenant. Remember, in Genesis 2:24-25, as inspired by God, Adam said

“and they shall be one flesh. And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed”.

Strife brings shame to one or both parties because it breeds accusations and distrust. Thus, when strife exists in a marital union, understand that the enemy is seeking to destroy your covenant foundation because strife leads to a strong level of distrust, withdrawal of affection, and an emotional gap that is difficult to bridge.

The Consequences of Unfaithfulness and Infidelity.

BREAKING THE COVENANT

Unfaithfulness and infidelity are direct violations of the marriage covenant. In Malachi 2:16, God states,

“For the man who does not love his wife but divorces her, says the Lord, the God of Israel, covers his garment with violence.”

This verse highlights the intensity of breaking the covenant. When you engage in unfaithfulness, you not only betray your spouse but also dishonor God.